Year End Dec 4th 2019,

    Mujhe ache se yaad h, last year Oct me meri Go Air me jab training lagi thi mei bhot khush tha, finally kuch to huwa, and side by side meine startup bhi start kar liya tha. Sari savings laga di thi. N unlimately ab tak ka sbse bada scam huwa mere sath. Bank acount khalli aur zingadi ouse b zada khali. Paiso ka phir bhi itna bura nahi laga, par startup k chakar me meine apni training bhi chor di, jo thoda sa career start hone laga tha wo b reh gaya, aur sath k dosto ne jab lose hone pe sath chora wo alag. Satnam, sandeep, phyco, sab ko apne sath rakha, bina kisi condition aur profit me share dene k promise se, aur na hi onse bina kisi investment k. Socha tha mein settle hoiuga to sab bhai jaise hais, sabko sath me rakhuga sab settle hojaiyge aur dost h to bharosa abhi rahega n kam karne me mazza bhi rahe ga. Agar sach me profit hota to sabne kuch na kuch kam kiya sab apna share haq se mangte, par jab lose ho gaya, mere sare paise dub gaiy, employess ki salary k liye abhi apne bhai se loan lena pada, sub onk samne. Is waqt to onhe mere thoda sath dena chahiye tha. Mei paise to kabi expect kar hi nahi reha tha onse still onhe bina kisi condition k apne sath achi niyat se rakha tha meine, to is waqt pe onhone mere yeha jo time lgaya ousk badle salary to nahi mangni chahiye thi. Bura lagta h jab aap kisi k liye kuch acha socho, apne sare resources spent karo, bhai ki tarah mano, aur wo bs apne bare me hi soche. Ye bhi life ka ek lesson tha mere liye. Par soch k hassi aati h ki ye lesson muje 4 lakh se b zada mhenga pada, sath mein go airlines ki training chorni padi ouski 1lakh fee jo di wo alag, and career ki joo band bajai wo b. Sach mei kafi expensive lesson tha. Phir bhi ek hi galti aur bhi kahi bar kari phir se. Oct end me ye sab khatm huwa, n nov bs wapis paise save karne me, n khud ko sambhalne me hi nikal gaya. Dec ate ate decide kiya ki bs ab or nahi, kisi pe kabi bharosa nahi karna. Do saal se satnam k sath kabi paiso ki koi transaction nahi kari thi, waise hi ab kisi or k sath b kahi kaam nahi karna chahe jitna bhi close q na ho. Socha tha thode din nahi ghum ata hu, n new year se, starting k 2 mahine, bs 2 mahine purane process se ache paise save kar k, fir se startup karuga. Satnam k sath jaipur ghuma, bohot maje kiye, khud paise b oudai, City Palace ka lunch bohot tasty tha, aur gandu Arpit, ouska toilet hi lock kar diya bohot acha trip tha. Hum Dec 25^th wo wapis a gaiy the. Jise mei har saal bs sochta hi hu, ki is baar to new year pe dosto k sath ghumne aiouga pukka. Pichle saal b bs sochta hi reh gaya, muje yaad h mei ghr pe tv daykh reha tha. Fir so gaya. Collage me bohot dost the, kabi kabi acha time b hota tha, par paise nahi the, par mein kabi apne parents se paise nahi mangta tha, muje bhot sharm ati thi. Sochta tha, bas sare exam time se clr kar lu, jab job lagegi apne paiso se aish karu ga, Tab pata nahi tha, ki abi jb time b h, paise b h, ghumne k liye resources b h, par koi dost nahi h sath. Har saal, ek hi chiz sochta rehta hu.

        Is saal abi bhi mind me yahi a reha h.

      Bs mahine bhar pehle ki hi baat hai mujhe galatfehmi ho gai thi ki, shayad ye sal acha end ho. Fir se meine startup karne ka plan kiya Nov starting me. And ek do dost bhi the, aur wo, ous se baat kar k muje acha lagne laga tha. Is baar meine process start karne k bare me kisi se kuch nahi kaha, chup chap puri planing kar k, tayari karni shuru kar di, jitne paise lagne the, ousk hisab se meri pocket itna alow nahi karti thi still meine risk lene ko ready tha, par mein bhul gaya. Kismat bhi koi chiz hoti hai aur meri sabse badi kamzori logo pe bharosa kar lena. Jis k sath process start karna tha, wahi mere paise leke bhag gaya. Paiso ka fir b itna bura nahi laga abi bhi, pr log bar bar jo dokha dete hai na, ye chiz chubne lagti h, kitni bar ek hi chiz hogi mere sath. Log ajkal bohot matlabi se ho gaiy hai. Aur jo dost the mere, onse b baat honi band hoti gai ahista ahista, wo apni life me busy ho gaiy. 

     Muje tha ki jab free hoge to bat ho jaya karegi, par ajkal life shayad sach me bohot taz ho gai h. Milne se whatsapp pe ai, fir whatsapp pe chat , gm, gn tak reh gaya, kuch reha nahi zada bat karne ko, ab wo bhi nahi hoti. Kabi wish kar b diya to shayd formality hoti hai na ek ki kisi ka text aya h, wish kar reha h out of courtesy wish kar diya, waise sa lagne laga hai mujhe, shayd mein ouse samajh nahi pa reha, par pata nahi muje bura lag reha hai. Pehle jaisa concern nahi reha samne se shayad. Andar se muje ache se pata bhi hai, ki baat kaam ki nahi, kuch or hai shayad, galti kaha hoi hai pata hai, par jo ho gaya so ho gaya, ouspe kisi ka koi bas nahi. Fir wahi hai na, sochta hu to bas halki si hasi a jati hai aur isk ilava mei kar abhi kya sakta hu. Mujhe pata hai, kuch chize kharb bhi to meine ki hai, par meine aise bhi nahi socha tha. Chize itni tazi se badal jaiy gi,kabhi aise chaha nahi tha.

      Ultimately, is saal b end ate ate, meri life me bhi kuch achi chizo ka end hota dikh reha h. Sochta hu koshish karu, kabi kabi kr b leta bu, par meri kismat meri inn choti choti kishisho se zada takatwar h. Is se zada mein kuch kar bhi nhi sakta. Khud pe confidence tutne laga hai ab. Bas daykhne k ilava kuch karne ka man nahi karta. Bs wo khush rahe apni zindgi me, ousk sare sapne pure ho.

    Ghum fir k, whi a gaya waha hu jaha piche saal is waqt tha. Ek dum Akela, bina kisi oumeed k, is baar to ghar apni family k pass b naa jaa paiou shayad, aur is baar ek add-on abi hai, bina kisi goal k life mein. Aur confidence ek dum tut gaya hai.

2019 New year pe socha tha, bas shuru k do mahine, ye kam karuga, or fir se startup kruga, March ate ate socha, bs ye last month, fir socha bs ek aur mahina, fir agle mahine jaisa chal reha h chalte rehene do, nikal gaya pura saal. Bs chor gaya to kuch yadein, kuch aisi bate, jo waqt k sath logo ki tarah nahi badale gi.